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"Something I never really talk about is religion and how I feel about the universe and everything in it.
I was raised a Lutheran. I made the choice to attend church with my grandparents.
I was confirmed in middle school. I attended church camps. Mission trips, council meetings, statewide church retreats, you name it. I even considered being a pastor at one point.
At some point I began to really form my own relationship with God to where it became so individual and outside of the community church gave me. My faith grew beyond the walls of that place and I understood that I could love Jesus in whatever way I could show up everyday. I was raised in a very accepting and understanding community and I’m so thankful that they aren’t the reason I don’t attend church. I didn’t have a bad experience by any means— I was loved and accepted for exactly who I was and it was so affirming and a place for me to belong. As I got older I just realized that my individual relationship was so strong I didn’t need to rely so much on that community for support.
And I still don’t. I’m hesitant to find a church because my faith has changed and grown SO much. I’ve become an incredibly spiritual person as well. It never sat well with me that there was only ONE right religion or way of thinking. I believe there is truth in every belief. The universe is a vast and ever changing thing and I can’t believe that multiple forces didn’t work together to bring us to where we are. I believe in astrology, Wicca, the magic of the natural earth, among so many other things.
But still I have faith. When I think of my background and my purpose on this earth I know that I’m here to live and love like Jesus.
My soul is here living another lifetime— one that’s special and all my own. I’m here to spread the magic that I feel from our universe. I’m here to love and serve.
Regardless of if you believe in god, have the same opinions or beliefs as me, or believe in any religion at all— I love you and happy Sunday".
I posted this caption earlier this year in April. And reading it now this rings true for me so much more.
I have been questioned a lot about what my faith looks like, how I can still believe in Jesus and practice magic. How I can be spiritual and religious all at the same time. How I can say I believe in Jesus and turn around and still use practices like tarot, spells, incantations, meditation and more.
I really want to dive deep into this and my beliefs as a healer and guide and share the unique perspective I have on the matters, and that starts at the very beginning of my story, as a child.
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When I was younger I was never forced to believe anything, think any way, or do anything I didn't want to do. My parents didn't actively go to church, they affirmed their belief in God, but church just wasn't their thing.
My mom was raised Lutheran, and my dad attended numerous different churches growing up with his mom, and didn't identify with any particular sector of Christianity.
At some point (I want to say around 5th or 6th grade) I began to be interested in going to church and my grandparents would happily come pick me up every Sunday morning and take me with them to the early service. I would help with Fellowship in between services when my grandparents had chosen to help, I assisted with our program to help homeless families across the Denver metro area, and I began regularly attending youth group and going to Sunday school/helping with Sunday School.
I started Confirmation when I was in middle school and I graduated as a confirmed member of the Lutheran church before I started high school. I went on mission trips, went to church camp multiple years in a row, and became a super active member of the church community for a number of years.
One time in high school, we went on a mission trip to build houses, and this was the first time I was exposed to beliefs outside of the realm of Christianity. And for that I am so thankful. One of our leaders on the trip, began to share with us that while he was a Christian and believed in Jesus, he wasn't an all or nothing type of guy. He believed in elements of Buddhism, Hinduism, and other religions creating a spiritual belief he lived his life by. This was MIND BLOWING for me. I had been struggling with the idea that if I was a Christian, I couldn't believe in ANYTHING else because that disconnected me from Jesus… But then I saw that there was this other way and it was super radical for me.
As I progressed through high school I started attending church less and less. This was truly because I started believing in my relationship with Jesus in a way that didn't confine me to the four walls of the church. The community that it created was amazing, but it was no longer necessary for me to connect and be a child of God. My relationship with God became so individual that I knew, I could love and serve like Jesus without attending church every Sunday, or reading the bible, or abiding my a set of rules that I felt were archaic and no longer reflected our modern society.
I never had a bad experience at my church-- I was lucky. I was accepted and loved for exactly who I was. I was supported and nourished and never judged.
It has been a while since I attended formal church. I try to go on Christmas and sometimes Easter (Easter services are my FAVORITE) but I have given up the idea that I NEED to go to church to be accepted in my faith.
I went to college in Kansas for a spell, and I was faced with good old Mid-Western Christianity where pre-martial sex was bad, not attending church every Sunday was a sin, and smoking weed was a way for the Devil to consume your soul. This really turned me off to Christianity for a while, I never once attended church while I was in Kansas because I knew it would just anger me. Churches were openly anti-LGBTQ, openly racist, and abided by rules that I felt were so outdated they should be illegal.
I was slapped in the face with how religion could cause more harm than good. I had always known that these "extreme"(what I now realize is actually normal for a lot of people) sectors of religion existed. And that there was a reason people were so anti-religion, but it was another thing to be openly shown the vast ignorance, and hypocrisy within the Christianity movement. By well-meaning "good" people.
Once I moved back to Colorado, I could feel the resentment I had towards my faith for all the harm that it caused. I could feel myself asking God why his followers could be so cruel, in the name of Jesus.
Which is when I found spirituality. Spirituality is the general belief that we are connected to something bigger than ourselves. Whether that is the universe, God, Holy Spirit, our guides, angels, ancestors, etc. it is the belief that we are able to search for a meaning of life, and that we are all connected by this universal human experience.
At first it felt super counter-intuitive to be a Christian and also a spiritual being. But then I thought back to my leader in high school on my mission trip, who lived a multi-dimensional spiritual life and existence. I began to find peace with my spiritual journey knowing that I could still be a child of God, and a lover like Jesus.
I began pursuing pagan education and elements to help me understand this new journey I was embarking on.
I eventually found Wicca, which for me has been incredibly life-changing. The Wiccan practice, allows you to believe that there is truth in every religion, which meant I could practice my Christian beliefs along side of the new spiritual beliefs I was incorporating into my life.
I still do read the Bible because I think it is a book of stories that has a lot to teach us. And I believe that Jesus was a shaman, a healer, a guide. I saw something that other day that stated, "Jesus did not come to start a religion, He came to show us the love of God". Which I could not agree with anymore. Jesus would not care that I practice spiritual and pagan elements in my faith, only that I loved and served like he did.
As I have begun to deepen my spiritual practice as a Reiki healer, I saw that the universal energy used in Reiki is also referred to as the Holy Spirit. It seemed silly to me that I had NEVER considered this before, but that universal energy we feel flowing between us can be classified as whatever you want it to be.
My spiritual and religious practice has been deeper and more abundant now than I could have ever imagined. I feel so connected to Spirit, to my guides, to the universe, and to Jesus.
It wasn't always this way, my journey has been one that has been harshly judged by those close to me, and those who barely know me. I am constantly told that I cannot practice Wicca and be a child of God.
When practicing Tarot, I know that my angels are divinely guiding me. I know that the presence of Jesus is available to me. While that sounds crazy, and a lot of conservative Christians would probably call me a child of the Devil…
I know that Jesus and me are tight.
When I think of my background and my purpose on this earth I know that I’m here to live and love like Jesus.
My soul is here living another lifetime— one that’s special and all my own. I’m here to spread the magic that I feel from our universe. I’m here to love and serve.
As a multi-dimensional and multi-passionate being, it only feels right that my practice is multi-dimensional and multi-passionate.
I know my purpose, I know my truth.
I am a healer, a guide, and a child of God. My purpose on Earth is greater than any religion or spiritual belief.
I know this to be true.
(Disclaimer: I utilize all tools ie. Tarot, Reiki, Magic, Prayer, Meditation, sacred text, etc. in my work as a healer and guide, not everyone needs the same tools or believes in the same things-- and that's okay!).