The word should is defined as "used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions". Should is a verb-- a doing word. Yet, should can paralyze us or cause us to walk down paths that aren't meant for us.
Especially in the online space, we hear so much about what we SHOULD be doing.
"You should do this because ________".
"You shouldn't do this because _____________".
"You should try _________".
"You should want __________".
"You should have goals that look like _________".
There is so much that we are told we should or shouldn't do and while this often comes from a place of love and good intentions, should is a word that is primarily used to criticize others actions and position ourselves as better in some way even if that isn't the intention.
When I first started my entrepreneurial journey, I got really caught up in the ideas of what I should be doing. As a person who is generally pretty naïve, I got caught up in these narratives about what my goals should be, what my life should like, what I should offer in my business, how I should talk to people, how I should market myself, etc.
Some of the advice I received through these shoulds was really helpful and helped me create a strong foundation for which my business is built on. Some of the "advice" I received through the shoulds led me down a path that I know now was not meant for me.
I invested money I didn't have, I did things that felt out of alignment, I used a million different softwares, I paid for services I didn't need, and I felt like I was never going to get a grip on what it really meant to an entrepreneur in the online space. How was I going to create what I really desired when I felt so overwhelmed about what I should be doing?!
A couple weeks ago I did a live about the power of should on my Instagram. I talked a little more about all of this, but as I have been thinking about it more and more since then the power should has over us is directly related to our inner child.
When we are children we are told a lot about what we should or should not do. We need that guidance as we are growing because we are learning and setting up the foundation for boundaries, communication, and social norms. At some point though, the word should becomes less of a guide and more of a critic, especially when we are reaching adolescence and we are desiring that support to fit in as we are.
When we are children we desire to feel supported, seen, and heard and the word should can make us feel like we aren't supported sometimes and that something is wrong with us and we need to make a change. Which is why should is SO powerful and why we can fall into a pattern or a place of doing things that don't actually serve us.
The word should can stop some of us in our tracks, especially if the word should was used to chastised us, punish us, make us feel less than, etc. at any point in our lives.
I invite you today to connect with your inner child and ask where you can release the pressure of what you should~ be doing?
What are you truly desiring?
How can you remove the pressure of the shoulds in your life?
What is your inner child telling you about what you SHOULD be doing?