I am not going to lie to you all. This has been a really hard week for me. I have been growing and expanding in ways that I dreamed of when I first started this blog at the beginning of the year, but that doesn't make any of this less exhausting.
Entrepreneurship, and specifically heart-centered, spiritual, energy healing, entrepreneurship is DRAINING as fuck.
When you are constantly shifting through energy, moving to the next level, watching the energy shift in the collective, and working on maintaining a business, shit gets tough and tiring.
A lot of the feelings that have been coming up for me this week are of no surprise. It was only a matter of time until they reared their faces, and demanded that I show up and confront them.
On this journey we all experience uplevels, shifts, and grow as individuals to be better leaders for our business. But what is not commonly talked about is the fear of showing up, the imposter syndrome, and the general "fuck fuck fuck" feeling as my friend Emily and I like to call it.
Like yeah I have made this massive pivot in my business that lights me up and makes me SO excited for the future… but then the thoughts start creeping in…
Who am I to be leading this work?
Who am I to be teaching this content?
Who am I to own my power and stand out the way I am?
What if I receive backlash from my message?
What if my authentic truth isn't welcome?
What if the people don't come?
What if I fail?
Who am I to think I could find success in this?
What if everyone thinks I am a fraud?
What if no one sees the value in what I am offering and my life's work?
This narrative, these thoughts have come up at every single shift and change in my business.
The imposter syndrome, the shame, the doubt, the scarcity mindset, the feeling that I am not enough for what I am working on.
During this entrepreneurial journey I have also been on a MASSIVE personal development journey to really lead the life that I want to. Having the business of my dreams means little to me if my life outside of my business isn't equally as thrilling and fulfilling.
I have been able to recognize that for a long time I avoided feeling and facing all of my emotions-- even the good ones. I have been able to recognize what is holding me back and HELLO.
It is this belief that I am somehow unworthy of my desires and dreams and that I am not going to succeed in what I am trying to accomplish.
This uplevel has been a little different for me. Instead of allowing myself to shut down and isolate myself from my feelings and just straight up avoid them; I have allowed myself to sit with them. I have allowed myself to be fully present and move with intention. I have been embracing the "fuck fuck fuck" feeling and allowing myself to process every single emotion that comes up with it.
This will keep happening as I learn and grow in my business but I don't need to be afraid of it.
I need to honor and accept that this journey is scary and hard, but it's also exciting and fulfilling and full of joy.
Embrace that "fuck fuck fuck" feeling, honor your emotions, and keep shining.
Follow your path.