Living Arrangements

I decided that after writing about my workspace that I should talk about my living arrangements over the past few years and what they have taught me.

When I first moved out of my parents house at 18 I moved straight into a dorm at my university in Kansas. My first semester I had a roommate. She was a super sweet small town Kansas girl but it was during that semester I learned that I live best when I have my own space to retreat to. I lived in a house with my parents and my sister until I was 18 and it was okay because I had my own room to retreat to when I needed space. Having a space to co-habitat all. the. time. was exhausting to me no matter how much I liked my roommate. The next semester I was able to get a dorm room of my own and I could feel my overall sanity increasing. It was amazing to have a space that I could retreat to and be completely alone since I spent so much with people in classes, at work, studying, and other events.

Once I learned the importance of having space of my own, the most viable option for housing the next year for me was to move into a house where I could have my own room. Living off campus in Kansas was the cheapest option I could find and I had the luxury of being able to move in with three of my best friends. We lived in a five bedroom house two blocks from campus and it was incredibly inexpensive. Anytime I get frustrated with CO rent I think about moving back to Kansas for the inexpensive living-- ha. If you know me at all you know that living in Kansas was truly tough for me because I deeply missed the outdoors and city living. I had grown up in a suburb of Denver and moving to a town of 20,000 people was a shock for me. I am so happy I had the ability to move out of my comfort zone and living in Kansas truly taught me a lot that I would have never learned. I learned so much about friendship, love, working hard, having compassion for others, being dedicated to a cause, education both informal and formal. I am super grateful for the time I spent in that small town and it was a pivotal part of helping me become who I am today.

After living in Kansas for almost 2 years I decided during my sophomore year that my heart belonged in Colorado and that I needed to move home. After surveying all my options, I found that I could live in Northern Colorado and take over a friends lease. The move was hard for me. I left all my friends behind in Kansas, I moved to a town that I didn't know much about, and I started going to school online. I felt really isolated when I first moved here-- thankfully I had friends from high school who jumped in to help me. And my new roommates were so amazing and helped me grow into myself again. Truly, I owe a lot to Madi and Kira for everything they did for me. They helped me grieve a relationship. They helped me make friends. They helped me relearn to live on my own and helped shaped me into the person I am right now. Moving in with complete strangers actually worked in my favor which was unexpected to say the least. After my lease was up living with Madi and Kira, I moved in with one of my best friends and another girl who soon became a dear friend. I owe a lot to these girls as well. Mallory and Abbey helped me through the end of an up and down relationship, they encouraged me to be "not okay", they let me take care of them because they knew it was in my nature. They taught me a lot about myself that I would have never known without living with them. At the end of the fall semester, Abbey was leaving to study abroad and we got a new roommate whose name was Danny. It was my first time living with a male roommate and let me tell you, it was interesting to say the least. Danny and I shared a bathroom and I fell into the toilet one too many times. Living with Danny taught me to be more open about my feelings, he taught me to be a better roommate, a better advocate for myself, and overall be more fun. Mallory always says that after my relationship ended in 2017 I had become more fun and I owe that all to her and Danny. They taught me how to be FUN again. And do what I wanted because I wanted to do it. I am eternally grateful for them and their friendships.

On that path to self-discovery I was learning that although I had a space of my own that having roommates might not be for me. I was spending a lot of time out doing things often alone. I enjoyed being alone a LOT. And I had decided I wanted to live alone. I had been going out and doing a lot of stuff with other people and it was important for me to do so. I had gotten out of a four year relationship and I was finding myself. I still am to be honest. But I figured it was important for me to be truly alone with myself and of course my dog Mo. I had done a lot of soul searching but I thought this was the best way to continue that. I moved into a one bedroom apartment in the heart of downtown and I felt a sense of relief for myself. I started spending lots of time alone. Tons and tons of it. I would go everywhere alone, once I was done with work I would do things around my house alone. It was amazing and helped me grow into the person I am right now. I lived alone for over half a year and truly it was heartbreaking to say goodbye to my little apartment.

I knew that once I graduated school I wasn't going to be able to continue living alone and I would need to have roommates again. While the idea didn't exactly thrill me, I knew that I would have to make it work and that everything would be okay. Towards the end of living in my apartment it turned into a hell hole instead of my safe space. I was having sewage leaking from my ceiling and it was happening during my last week of finals during my academic career. I ended up moving in with my boyfriend for a week until I could move into my new house and it was a shock for me. I had not been used to living with people and moving in with him and his 2 roommates was overwhelming for me to say the least. I feel bad often because I am not the life of the party I used to be. I felt like living with roommates was going to be a very very rude awakening.

Thankfully the transition hasn't been so hard. I am living with my younger sister and another one of my best friends. It feels great to be living in my own place again and even though I don't have a space that's all my own, I have my room and a dedicated office space that I absolutely adore. And even better I have roommates that understand my need for lots and lots of alone time. My living arrangements over the last few years have helped shape me into the person I am right now. My current living arrangements will help me become the person I am meant to be. This is all one big journey and I am trying to enjoy the moment I am in. Even though I can't wait for this next part to be started.

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